I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
sarcasm needs its own font
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
