she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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