In the future we'll all be gay
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he fucked my hip out of place.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
