had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
