Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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