just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
