Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
PANTIES FOUND
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