I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
