I'm so fucking centered right now
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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