Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
