Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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