babies were throwing up all over the place
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize