Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My breasts were aching with rage.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
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