This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
