9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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