Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
