IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
