Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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