Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
It's Friday. Sex?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
