Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
