I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize