fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
you win again, gameday.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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