we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize