Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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