Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
