When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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