they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
