So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dont even know how to be here
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
