Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
