from now on my penis is your penis
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
