This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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