yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
