Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
