There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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