Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize