I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize