i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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