is wine microwaveable?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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