3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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