I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I look better un-naked...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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