It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
