This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My dick has a subreddit
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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