thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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