I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
