do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
