I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Do vagina's smell?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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