If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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