Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize