I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
What a dumb baby whore.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
