He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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