Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
