Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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