i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
