I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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