We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
