So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
