i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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