He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You ruined the universe
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
