Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
