I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
