I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
