he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
