I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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