i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
