Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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